Comedy Humor Skills for Stage and Platform

Contents:

• Virtual Comedy Writing Course
• Jokes on YOUR site!
• Professional Humor Tip Series
• Cartoons
• COMEDY CLUB DIARIES: Things I Learned in Comedy Clubs That I Translated to Business
• Joke Study Series
• Your Free Jokes weekly!!
• Joke Re-Write Service
• Current Humor Joke Writing Conditions
• Write a review of HumorMall.com

VIRTUAL COMEDY WRITING COURSE

Transcribed from an all day seminar, April 1991.

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by John Cantu "If I give you a joke, I make you funny for a day. If I teach you to joke, I make you funny for a lifetime."®

©HumorMall.com

Writing Our First Chunk - Polishing Jokes - Part XV

May 6, 2008

Okay, somebody else. Anybody else.

Answer: My unique antique car. Earl Scheib $99.95 paid for the whole production - credits for my custom car. Nadia Salerno-Sonnenberg plays violin sitting in the backseat while I tell him how to tune it. The radio plays Gregorian chants. My VCR has a paint job in lavender by Michelangelo. And the roof top was the art theme of the Sistine Chapel glued for an extra bit of (could not understand). Right up on clue to "Cheero!" Khashoggi jumps off the hood and spits and covers my windshield up with colored blood. The express lane inflatable Moses blows up a real red sea divider.
John: Okay. Let's take that from the top again. Do your first couple of lines.

Answer: Oh, one suggestion. Earl Scheib's $99.95 paid for the whole...
John: Is that the first thing... What was the first thing you said?

Answer: Oh, that's not on here.
John: Okay. Well, do it again. Do it again.

Answer: Oh, uh - here it is...
John: This is polishing folks. It's do it again and again and again... Let's hear it again. This is polishing. Go ahead.

Answer: My custom unique antique car. My unique antique custom car. Earl Scheib...
John: Okay. Now what is the angle you are taking?

Answer: I'm making it a weird car.
John: Okay. Why are you making it a weird car?

Answer: Because with all these things together, I don't think I can make it a normal car.
John: What I'm suggesting... See what she did was say. Here's the expensive car. But I had an old car and it did this. I don't think that quite works the way you had it because the thing is that, it just sounded like...

What it sounded like was you accomplished a lot of weird things but I had no way of connecting with it. It's real, real important folks. Start with the reality and exaggerate that. 'Hey, I won a lottery. I had the money to buy an expensive car.' Now I can tie in with a car that was expensive car. At least in an old car.

The problem with doing weird stuff is, the audience goes, 'yeah, it's weird so what.' I didn't have a handle on it. You really have to come out and say, uh...

Did you try to divide them into expensive and... You see, there's actually two angles on that.

They're expensive jokes or they're old jokes. And once you've divided them up, then you had to put the old ones together... What I wanted you to do was put the old ones together and the new together. I didn't care so much what there was within that but I wanted you to see 'this is an old joke - this is a new joke.'

And that's what surprised me about Anna's old car. Michelangelo painted the ceiling. I saw that originally as an expensive joke.

Answer: How do I tell the difference between an old joke and a new joke?
John: Did you divide them?

Answer: Oh, I was supposed to divide them?
John: Yeah. I tell you what. Do you have time to stick around a bit afterwards? Because I'll work with you on that and we can go through that stuff. Like I said, I will stick around afterwards and answer different questions. I'll show you what I would have done with that.

Next Week: Writing Our First Chunk - Polishing Jokes - Part XVI

COMEDY CLUB DIARIES: An insider's view of the world of comedy clubs.

Things I Learned in Comedy Clubs That I Translated to Business

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by Don Stevens © 2001

I once worked Ross Perot's company EDS. We put together a proposal for Cantu and I to teach presentation skills to my co-workers, who were all paranoid - terrified - about speaking in public. My boss read Cantu credentials and nixed the idea, saying, "I don't want to turn my workers into a BUNCH OF COMEDIANS!" That's probably when I first started thinking about the idea that humor habits and business are not mutually exclusive fields. There are 10 items, simply because I always like to do at least 10 if I have an assignment.

1. In a comedy club, you learn to pay attention to what the people around you are doing. The audience. Other comics. The club owner. It's amazing to me how oblivious a lot of people in big companies are to their fellow workers. And how detrimental that can be. (Simple things like noticing someone is lifting something and needs help.)
2. You learn how to put things simply and quickly. There's so much bullshit in business, if you can get someone on and off the phone or get him the information he wants quickly, you score points.
3. On the other hand, you learn how to schmooze. Some people love to schmooze. The other day I got a seat on a "sold out" flight because I said something inconsequential (I don't remember what it was) that made the American Airlines operator laugh, and then I said something else to make her laugh, and that's when suddenly the "sold out" flight became, "Hold on, Mr. Stevens, let me check into something here."
4. You learn how to deal with office intimidation. After dealing with hecklers (or pickup trucks), bullies in the office are a piece of cake...

Continued here: The rest of the story

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InnerSanctum!

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A virtual comedy school/encyclopedia on comedy. How-to articles on:

• stage skills
• platform skills
• writing skills

by legendary comedy coach, John Cantu.

Check out all the great resources now available again to those who want to add humor to their presentation and comedians looking for a leg up on performing skills.

Cantu says: It doesn't matter where you start. You will only be judged by the journey you make and where you end up.

MAKE MONEY WITH COMEDY IN 2008

Getting Paid to Make People Laugh (Without Being a Comedian or a Clown)

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The Fun, Fail-Safe Approach to Earning an Extra $700 to $7,000 a Month With Humor - Even During Tough Times.

Internet best selling ebook in Adobe Acrobat PDF format.

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Joke Study Series

Paul Giles - co-author of Joke Study Series

Real World Examples of Editing and Updating Jokes Study Series is, for Giles, a labor of love. "John Cantu was an inspiration to a lot of comedians, and being able to work with his catalog of jokes in a way that can inspire a new generation of performers is the least I can do for his memory. Besides, this e-book is a great way for beginners to seasoned pros to learn the basics of writing, editing and adapting jokes for any audience."

(Find More Information on Joke Study Series Here)



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Your Free Jokesweekly!!

Jokes  Weekly provides you with fresh jokes you can use free without fear of copyright infringement.

May 6, 2008

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01. Have you noticed how nothing changes when you go on summer vacation? Except now the kids watch TV in their bathing suits.
02. All the recent news on living wills have influenced a lot of people. It made my daughter think about it and now she wants to will her body to Brad Pitt.
03. Paris Hilton believes in reincarnation and has left instructions in her living will for a wake-up call.
04. It’s amazing how young some of these Major League pitchers are. I just saw one that was so young, his rosin bag was filled with baby powder.
05. My kid brother wants to be a star baseball player and practices, practices, practices - doing TV commercials.
06. I don’t think he’s going to make it in the big leagues though. Who else pulls a muscle using the TV remote control.
07. Star Jones and soon to be ex - Al Reynolds never got along. I think it was because of a personality conflict — SHE has one.
08. (AFTER ELABORATE INTRODUCTION) I don’t want to say he used flowery language but, I think I’ve found pollen on the microphone.
09. (AFTER INTRODUCTION) I’ve been accused of being long-winded and ignoring my listeners’ comfort. Tonight, I’ve done something about it. Midway through my speech I’ve scheduled a breakfast break.
10. (AFTER DINNER) Tonight’s food reminded me of my youth. No, not my mother’s cooking – boot camp!

(More than 4,000 jokes in InnerSanctum)

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Current Humor Joke Writing Conditions:

Joke Idea Stimulator

SPRING:

Easter buying flowers, coloring eggs, egg rolling, parades, vacations from school, women's Easter outfits...
Gardening buying garden tools, city penthouse gardens, flower shows, green thumb, growing vegetables, planting, seed catalogs, seeds, spading, weeds...
Outdoor Track cross country, finish tape, hammer throw, high jump, hurdles, relays, running lanes, shot-put, starting gun...

Forecast:

JUNE:

Father's Day, Weddings (bride, groom, best man, relatives, bouquets, bridesmaids...)
School's out, school summer vacations, last day of school, summer jobs...
Graduation (diplomas, cap and gown, autographs...
Prom party, rented tuxedo, corsage, rented limo...
Summer Solstice, First day of summer...

June traditional full moon name Strawberry Moon

(Get Complete List in InnerSanctum)