4,000 Jokes you can modify, adapt or use...
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Free Jokes Weekly!
Jokes you can use free without fear of
copyright infringement! Whether you are a comedian, comic, comedienne,
monologist, toastmaster, radio personality, minister, club president,
emcee, mc, educator, clergy, community leader, communication expert,
advertising writer... Or just someone with a personal interest in humor
JOKES YOU CAN SAFELY USE WITHOUT FEAR OF COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT
Published by HumorMall.com
Edited by SM Cerce
©May, 2017 Vol. 3, No. 18
ONLY the jokes in Joke Weekly may be used free without fear of copyright infringement nor need of written permission
- (ROASTEE) is the kind of person who would drop you off in lion country with a backpack filled with 40-pounds of liver.
- (ROASTEE) went to a tough high school. Their idea of graffiti was to strip a teacher and tattoo him.
- (ROASTEE) went to a tough high school. Whenever the country was in mourning, we'd tie the principal to the flagpole and fly him at half mast.
- I don't want to say the (ROASTEE) is a sissy, but he has a garter belt in karate.
- Persuasive? (ROASTEE) could convince the KKK to nominate Jesse Jackson as Grand Imperial Wizard... and then convince him to accept.
- (ACKNOWLEDGING AN EFFUSIVE INTRODUCTION) I'm sorry, but I'm not quite ready. After that introduction, I was waiting for someone to crown me. (SPEAKER/PERFORMER LINE)
- (WHEN INTRODUCING MUSICIAN) Let's hear it for (MUSICIAN) on (INSTRUMENT). I can't believe he makes that instrument sound that good when he got it at a Tupperware party. (SPEAKER/PERFORMER LINE)
- (INTRODUCTION) Our next speaker once graced the cover of Time Magazine. He can be seen 900 from the left in a crowd scene. (SPEAKER/PERFORMER LINE)
- (INTRODUCTION) Some people lecture for enjoyment, some lecture for money, others for fame. Our next speaker (PAUSE 1-2-3) does it for revenge. NOTE: Should be done for a speaker who obviously is affectionately loved by all otherwise joke will be perceived as spiteful. 2nd NOTE: This could be used in roast for a multitude of occupations. (SPEAKER/PERFORMER LINE)
- (AFTER INTRODUCTION) I've been accused of being long-winded and ignoring my listeners' comfort. Tonight, I've done something about it. Midway through my speech I've scheduled a breakfast break.