4,000 Jokes you can modify, adapt or use...
without fear of copyright infringement.
Free Jokes Weekly!
Jokes you can use free without fear of
copyright infringement! Whether you are a comedian, comic, comedienne,
monologist, toastmaster, radio personality, minister, club president,
emcee, mc, educator, clergy, community leader, communication expert,
advertising writer... Or just someone with a personal interest in humor
JOKES YOU CAN SAFELY USE WITHOUT FEAR OF COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT
Published by HumorMall.com
Edited by SM Cerce
©September, 2017 Vol. 7, No. 18
ONLY the jokes in Joke Weekly may be used free without fear of copyright infringement nor need of written permission
- The other day (CELEBRITY NAME) was pulled over by a highway patrolman. The cop said, "Do you realize you were speeding?" (NAME) said, "Don't be ridiculous. I wasn't speeding. I took three Quaaludes."
- My uncle's an alcoholic. His philosophy is "No one knows the doubles I've seen."
- For years I never liked peanuts. Then I found out I was eating them wrong. They taste much better shelled and washed down with beer.
- He's always been on the conservative side. When everyone was sniffing glue, he was sniffing Scotch tape.
- My bartender uses psychology to sell more drinks. He'll start a great joke, but then waits till you buy a second round to tell you the punchline.
- The Coast Guard recently stopped a boat that was carrying 6 tons of marijuana. They said it looked suspicious. The ship was sailing 8 feet above the water.
- I don't know what (NAME) was drinking at his birthday party, but when he tried to blow out the candles he set the table on fire.
- I don't know what my bartender is putting in his martinis but it's the only bar where I've seen an olive try to climb out of the glass.
- I dribbled so much booze down my front, on the way home a wino mugged me for my shirt.
- I took my secretary to lunch the other day, and I discovered she was not the old fashioned type. After two old fashions she couldn't type.